The Bottom Line:
Interesting idea, but just not going to cut it. The bottle top does not work as advertised and has no use unless... well... unless you enjoy
making a mess.
Reviewed by: Andrew RabadanReviewed on: 8/9/2010 9:54:38 AM
I was listening to some kickin rad Foreigner on my sony walkman casette player when, in the middle of my blazing hot air guitar solo I spilled
my can of Crysal Pepsi all over my desk. Now, I know what you're saying but seriously, I still have some Crystal Pepsi left over from the 80's.
I liked it ok? STOP JUDGING ME MOM, I'LL MOVE OUT WHEN I'M READY. Anyway, as the mesmerizing backbeat of Juke Box Hero faded out of my headphones
I realized that there had to be a solution. No man should have to have his air guitar solo ruined by spilled soda. It's an injustice that must end today.
After expressing my concerns to my boss, he asked me what I was doing in his bedroom. He looked me in the eye and told me "Get out, I'm calling the
police". It looked like I was on my own this time. I began my search at the A.M., on television. I figured thats where the solution to any problem can
be found - on television at three in the morning.
Sure enough, I found the Bottle Top. The Bottle Top is a plastic - well - bottle top designed to fit over soda cans. With the 'cap' on the bottle top
closed it should prevent spills even when the can is knocked over. Awesome, I thought, 'I can see my future, and it is zebra print spandex and bandanas
baby! Air guitar championships here I come!' Then I decided to test the Bottle Top.
Aside from looking completely ridiculous, the Bottle Top leaks. It leaks from the sides when you drink from it and It leaks from the cap when you knock
it on its side. That makes it pretty much totally useless. At least they're made of plastic so they'll never ever biodegrade so they'll always be around
to remind me of what a stupid product this is. I guess that's a 'pro' right? I don't think so.
So basically, these things are designed to stop you from spilling your soda, but they leak like a sinking cruise liner. They can't even solve the problem
they were designed to solve. How did this thing make it to market? Seriously, it took me two minutes of "Paradise City" by Guns and Roses to figure out
these things sucked, I'm sure a dedicated tester could have done it in like one second. The Bottle Top is really just made of 'fail'. We're talking 'tits
on a bull' useless here. They serve absolutely no purpose, provide no benefit and are totally incapable of fixing the problem they were designed to solve. I cannot think of one way in which these things succeed. Nor can I think of any way in which these thngs can be more of a failure. These are worse than the Lound n Clear. There is literally nothing positive to say.
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