Reviewed by: Andrew RabadanReviewed on: 7/2/2010 9:37:08 AM
The Hawaii Chair is one of those rare products that is so totally and completely absurd that it makes you question the collective worth of the
entire human race. I really don't see the point in owning a chair that will try to slowly vibrate you to death
every time you sit in it.
According to the commercial, this thing is used for exercise. I suppose fighting for survival against the first wave of the machine invasion would
be pretty good exercise. No argument here. I'm not sure why they call it a "Hawaii Chair" though. I suppose calling it "vertigo simulator",
"vomit inducer" or "Baby's First Mechanical Bull" wouldn't make it a hit with the public. The commercial shows the Hawaii Chair being used at
work and in board meetings.
At work? Board meetings? Really? I'm sure everyone wants to watch some dude girate suggestively on a barely-controllable robot chair at their
board meetings. I don't know about you but if I saw that I'd be wondering whether I should call the police, the fire department or John Connor
to come in and help the guy out. As for using it at my desk, I'm not so sure I would get a hell of a lot of work done if I had to cling to my
cubicle for dear life while my chair tried to buck me.
The "Hawaii Chair" isn't totally useless. For intance, if you ever want to experience motion sickness without having to be on a car or boat,
you can get a Hawaii Chair. Or, if you find yourself with a glut of enemy combatants that need torturing and your Cuban military base has recently
come under unwelcome scrutiny, you can order a bunch of Hawaii chairs. Bulk discounts may be available.
If for some strange reason you don't have anyone to torture and you don't want to vomit, I really can't say that there's anything
worthwhile you can do with the Hawaii Chair. I mean, you could use it to freak out your pets, or the elderly - that probably never gets old,
but it's kind of expensive for that.
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